There are CEOs and founders of $5 billion dollar entrepreneurial businesses, who instinctively when presented with a referral opportunity by a trusted source, move swiftly (within 24 hours) to investigate it.
There are CEOs and founders of $10 million dollar entrepreneurial businesses when presented with the exact same opportunity, take an eternity or decline to respond.
It is not your fault, it is simply their default behaviour on that specific day and the internal wiring system in their organisation.
When you see repeat occurrences in a variety of settings, they are simply reflecting their priorities and behaviours, which may include a disorganised, non-sales and problem-solving culture. Move on, don’t worry.
If your belief is that begging, borrowing and offering crumbs in return for others’ free time, money and energy, is a sound policy for your business growth, think again.
Irrespective of the size of your organisation or your material success, you are only going to be someone else’s priority if what is in it for them is tangible, meaningful and immediate.
There is a reason why nominal equity or remuneration on success is offered in return for extensive immediate “help”, the probability of success is remote and so is paying up. The other party wants you and your balance sheet to de-risk their business growth, nothing more. Treat offers with extreme caution and realism.
Do you sense that the collaboration you are discussing with a potential partner has turned into you bending over backwards, and your relationships, to conform to their highly rigid policies, processes and procedures? If so, you are almost certainly looking at a “partnership in failure” much as you might convince yourself of the exact opposite or the potential rewards on offer. Move on.
When an “offer to collaborate” conversation in a business setting, feels increasingly like fitting into someone else’s “straightjacket”, you are witnessing the other party reducing your control and influence over the proposed outcomes for THEIR benefit. They are putting their self-interest ahead of your own for logical reasons (ownership, brand, resource constraints, reputation, profit) and emotional reasons (self-worth, claiming credit, fear and making the bonus).
Let’s take the most obvious, do they own and control the means to self-direct their own future? The founder, who has sold a meaningful share in their business to a private equity firm, is now working for a “second boss”. They may not see it or explain it that way but that is an undeniable fact. There are value-accretive policies, processes and procedures they must adhere to that lead to substantial EBITDA growth, multiple increase on exit. Otherwise why invest?
You accept it or compromise.
Let me remind you there are healthy and unhealthy compromises in any partnership.
The smart thing to do is to enter these conversations with
real business on the table, not conceptual ideas with zero commitment
near immediate clarity on what is in for you (financially)
a clear set of critical and highly important points you must preserve and moderate/low importance items that you are willing to compromise on.
If you don’t have attractive business, in 95% of occasions you are wasting your time. If you cannot see the reward for you, in 80% of occasions you are being asked to play the banker for the other partner’s immediate future growth (“free” marketing, relationship intros, resources, time). If you don’t know what to trade away or protect, you are a prisoner to someone else’s fortune 100% of the time?
If you are asked to give your time “pro bono” for a charity, a sports club committee or a fundraiser, never confuse your professional standards (timekeeping, focus, organisation, behaviour) with the informal setting or your familiarity with those present.
You want your client, employee or investor to respond in a desired manner (speed and quality) but you continually find that they don’t.
Perhaps you are the problem?
Is their self-interest (time saved, risk averted, greater control) abundantly clear in your request or have you presented it in a manner where it appears to be all about you or a third party’s self-interest?
Offering “free” solicited advice or help with zero commitment (payment, reciprocity) in return, rarely breeds loyal customers in for-profit businesses. It merely breeds “affluent beggars”, who unless they are broke can reciprocate but don’t choose to. They will knock on your door expecting similar “favours” with zero regard for your time, energy or money until they are ignored. Watch, they will move on when their luck is out and pester another “sucker”.
At least with a cat you can expect some fun and affection, at a minimum.
When you default to email over a sensitive matter, when a phone call or a conversation in person would better elicit the reassurance or not that you are seeking, you are not putting the “trusting relationship” first. In a relationship business, which most of us are in, you can ill afford that mindset.
If someone goes out of their way to help your business growth (facilitate an introduction, suggest an idea, resolve a problem), and you cannot show up at a pre-agreed time (call, meeting, email response), you are a “time waster”. There is place for those folks, it is not in your game.
If your volition is simply to get acquainted or catch up with someone, when your real intent is to elicit their help to improve your condition (find a job, raise money, obtain an introduction), you better change your mindset. Listen with obvious interest. Pose brief, intelligent questions that invite the other party to reveal themselves. Spot opportunities for reciprocal benefit. Be clear and precise about the help you seek. Agree time and date for follow up. Be memorable and someone they’d be keen to meet again.
Sounds simple? Most people don’t do this well and in return, receive little or no commitment from most of those individuals they ask.
