“I cannot think of anyone” is often the refrain to many people’s request for business referrals.
First, is it clear to both parties why that referral source would want to make you their priority now, and trade their “currency”, hopefully, a peer-level trusting relationship, for your benefit?
If that is not immediately apparent, there is no energy to power your referral request. You are turning the ignition (request) but experiencing a flat battery!
You have lived with a high level of certainty in your career around what your day, week or life will look like. You are a “success” by all objective measures. You have led businesses and teams. You have felt the pressure of taking finely balanced risks, and living with the consequences. You are now struggling to answer the question “what is my next career move?” Indeed, that question is now starting to be unanswered for an unhealthy and extended (30+ days) period of time.
How many family dinners, drinks and friends’ BBQs can you tell everyone “you are considering your options?” or respond “fine” when asked about your business. You know it really isn’t, it is uncomfortable, and indeed, a frustrating time where you levels of enthusiasm, energy and humour ebb and flow daily. The clock is ticking, whether you recognise the time or not, and you want to avoid others making that decision for you.
Where do you turn for inspiration, clarity and a permanent resolution in a discreet environment? It is not probably to those individuals in your current support system (friends, family and colleagues), advisers or recruitment experts.
Ideally, it is to people like me, who themselves have been through the same ambiguity, and have successfully made the crossing, and can translate and transfer their own successful approaches to you.
How do you make them eager to want to meet and help you? (warm introduction) Where do you ideally meet? (neutral turf) What are the ideal conditions? (both parties see it is in their own self-interest to do so) What exactly do you want answered? (realistic goals, routes to them, reciprocal help) What must you do first thing tomorrow and the day after to advance safely towards success? (meetings, calls, research) What sort of structure and monitoring do you require? (weekly, monthly calls, feedback, de-brief and meeting prep)
You need to confront the situation head on. Procrastination has to cease. You need to figure it out now. Sorry, no one else can answer the questions only you can answer. This is the inconvenient but honest truth. Let’s talk, email me at james@elliceconsulting.com
A great many business partners in the end phase of a comfortable but increasingly distant relationship find the the materialistic aspects triumphing over the entrepreneurial romance. Yet for many that period of transition and the actualities are hard to process. Why, are we where we are? Why does he or she respond like they do? We never used to communicate like this?
It perpetuates because one or both haven’t come to terms with the fact that the business partner they started out with, is no longer the business partner they are now dealing with now. Their lives have inextricably changed (time, money, energy, intellectual interests and so on) despite or because of their material circumstances (wealth).
Get a grip, and deal with the reality. Wishing it was different or like it used to be, will not resolve your current reality.
If you are experiencing a number of promising conversations with potential clients, investors and business partners, who then suddenly disappear why is it frustrating you? What you are seeing is “fantasy individuals” or “fantasy business”.
You enable the former situation by not being assertive in your agreed follow up and then telling them you must move on. Bad prospects make bad clients, investors or business partners.
You enable the latter situation by rushing to a close without providing sufficient value in the moment and understanding the other party’s self-interest. There is a very personal reason why they are talking to you, how clear is it that you are ideally positioned to dramatically improve their life? If it isn’t, the inconvenient truth is there is no real business on the table. Conceptual business or investment cannot pay the bills.
I inquired of an Asian estate agent, acting for a HNW client about their routine follow up with potential buyers, who have expressed interest in a quiet market.
His response is all too familiar with those individuals hardwired to take an excessively high-risk, passive and low-probability of success strategy.
“We don’t have a fixed schedule to call clients. We will see when it is appropriate to call them from time to time, or if the situation changes, or we have some update/news. Unnecessary calls don’t help, in fact they make them (prospects) feel uncomfortable.”
This kind of response is not cultural. It is born of a general malaise (limited confidence), not feeling a peer of buyers (poor self-worth) and a lack of courage (trust in your own value). I don’t blame him but I do his boss, who clearly thinks this is the simplest, easiest and less risky way to proceed.
We need to recognise this is a “chess game”. Ambiguous times and disruption are here to stay. We must boldly “lead” prospects where it is demonstrably in their self-interest to do so, to a more rewarding life. Waiting means they are missing out on, increasing risk or foregoing huge benefits to they and their family.
It requires the courage to set definitive next steps in a conversation, where both parties commit to meet, call or email each other at specific times and dates. To believe that doing so is demonstrably in the buyer’s self-interest.
So you sold your business, took part cash with the promise of staged payments or equity with a future payoff upon the sale of the buyer’s business, and you are now incredibly frustrated with the results. You are ready to blame everyone but you, why? Let’s first be intellectually honest about your (the Seller’s) own performance:
If you cannot answer “Yes”, to all of these questions, you have to ask why you omitted to undertake the work or failed to do it adequately? What can you do, if anything, to productively respond to the situation that you now find yourself in? Who is the ultimate decision-maker?
Frustration is about “fear”. Disincentives. The inability to do something that you’d ideally like to do. It needs to be confronted head on. To determine whether it is material or not. To understand whether it is or isn’t in your power and control now. To decide if your response is rational given your circumstances, and the life you want to be leading.
Above all, a Seller minimises their frustration if THEY do the right job in the first place, not other people. That is an uncomfortable but honest truth.
