A 55 year old tanned luxury business owner walks into the changing room of an upscale gym after an intense workout, and starts a discourse with a member about their respective weekends. “I did mushrooms and MDNA, no cocaine.” The other individual replies, “I should give you the name of this wonderful woman, very high quality and discreet.” They depart after exchanging greetings.

Why do I feel slightly queezy and disappointed? Is it the thought that two seemingly healthy, friendly and successful individuals are at one extreme making every effort to be in the best physical shape, and at the other end, embracing a clearly destructive lifestyle? Is it the nagging thought that they might be doing hard drugs possibly in my presence? Is it my business? Not really. Who am I to judge them?

We imagine in life that we are amongst like-minded souls but when that turns out not to be the case, we have choices. We can confront the individuals or management with our dissatisfaction (what do we ideally want to happen?) We can adapt (train at a different time of day). We can ignore it, satisfying ourselves this is an isolated incident (no meaningful impact on us). At the other extreme, we can choose not to come again.

We are not powerless. I tell this story because way too often I hear smart people whingeing to me about events inside their control and influence. Do something about it, you have choices, don’t ignore them.