When your passion, energy and focus is laser-like on a singular objective that is to be admired (building a career or a business). However, when it is applied to the total or increasing exclusion of all other interests, experiences and people, you are creating a personality of very limited interest or attraction to others.
The process of “change” required to move from the status quo, in those situations, to a more appealing one, necessitates a very sharp right turn (cultivating new and diverse interests, joining new groups, educating others and so on).
I love to ask people, “if I didn’t know you – why would I be drawn to you?” Most people find that a provocative or even uncomfortable question to answer, particularly those with high affiliation needs. It is an important question to consider because the ease of consciously or subconsciously shielding or cutting oneself off, increases exponentially with greater wealth and success (The “Howard Hughes” syndrome). Note age is not a factor.
If you are doubting me, take a trip to the Beverly Hills Tennis Club for lunch. A secluded retreat on N. Maple Drive, where silver-haired retirees gossip over their linguini mare, the cosmetic surgeons wave to their former playing partners (few play tennis), as they shuffle between tables, and the ageing Jewish ladies bemoan the lack of class on offer at the Met gala (“Lola, d’you see hurr? How could she, really?!”). I have been a fly-on-the-gilded wall. Dull, dull, dull!
